Hello Reader, If today's LinkedIn post landed anywhere for you, you're now sitting with something uncomfortable: a specific conversation you've been postponing, and the realisation that the part of you deciding you're not ready may never sign off on it. I want to walk through what's actually happening, and what to do instead. Two egos, competing There are two versions of the self running most of us and the difference between them determines whether we have the conversations that matter or...
15 days ago • 3 min read
Hello Reader, There is a conversation currently consuming your mental bandwidth. You know the one. You’ve replayed it a dozen times, crafting the perfect reply that will never be delivered. It feels like you’re resolving something, but you're just feeding the loop. If you've been reading my writing, you've probably heard me say some version of this before: the loop isn't a bug. It's a signal that your brain is telling you something about the original conversation that hasn't been fully...
22 days ago • 3 min read
Hello Reader, I want to share something small with you today. Sometime today, you'll have conversations with people you know whether it’s colleagues, friends, or family. Most of those conversations will follow the usual scripts. “How are you?” “Good, you.” “Yeah, busy.” The scripts are efficient but they're also where most of what people are actually carrying stays hidden. However, there's one question I've found, over many years of being in difficult rooms, that breaks through the scripts...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Hello Reader, Today, I am sharing a short visual post on LinkedIn entitled "The 3 Stories Your Brain Writes (before the other person has even finished what they were saying)." You can find it here if you're not already following me on LinkedIn. It breaks down the three automatic, defensive scripts our minds instantly generate the moment a conversation becomes difficult or tense: Story #1: They meant it badly. (Assuming a neutral comment or pause is a deliberate challenge) Story #2: This is...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Hello Reader, Perhaps you’ve been in this moment where someone says something, and before you've thought anything through, you're already responding. What you don't see, in that compressed slice of time between the words and your reply, is the most important decision being made on your behalf, by your own brain, beneath the surface of conscious thought. Instinctively you're deciding what the words meant. Whether the person is for you or against you. Whether what's required is defence,...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Hello Reader, Bring to mind a disagreement you've been trying to resolve for a while. Not a one-off argument. The kind that keeps coming back whether with a colleague, a family member, a friend, a partner. The kind where you've laid out your reasoning more than once, and they've laid out theirs, and somehow neither of you has moved. Got one in mind? Sometimes, when a disagreement won't resolve, it isn't because someone is being stubborn. It's because both people have been trying to persuade...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Hello Reader, I have some exciting news. My designer has put together some initial cover ideas for The Zero-Sum Illusion, and it is time to put them to a vote. I want this book to feel authoritative, clean, and optimistic - a genuine toolkit for changemakers. I have narrowed it down to a few distinct visual concepts, but I need your eyes to help me pick the winner. Could you do me a quick favour? Please head over to the survey here: https://forms.gle/nDoXRyaBDkDnbWhP8 I would love to know...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Hello Reader, Think of one person you've been quietly frustrated with this week. Not a person you're in open conflict with. The other kind: the colleague whose tone in that email rubbed you the wrong way, the family member you've been short with, the friend whose silence you've been reading something into. The low-grade frustration you've been carrying around without naming. Got someone in mind? Here's an exercise, and it takes five minutes and a piece of paper. Step 1. On the left side of...
2 months ago • 2 min read
Hello Reader, Have you ever been in a meeting where a critical gap is identified, and you can almost feel the invisible wall go up? In my years of consultancy, I have seen it often. No one actually says the words - especially in a professional UK environment, where we tend to be more reserved - but the shift is palpable. People lean back. They check their phones. They suddenly become very interested in a different part of the spreadsheet. It’s the "unspoken opt-out." It’s the feeling that...
3 months ago • 3 min read